Statements Parents Are Told That Aren’t Always True

Mothers love to share advice, opinions, and stories with each other. When someone is pregnant and has never had a newborn, other mothers often want to share their experiences and what they have learned after giving birth. While one mother might share only beautiful, easy memories, another might describe hardship and warnings.

Each woman has encountered different situations and will have different perspectives on what life is like with a newborn. However, because opinions are sometimes thrown into the mix with facts, it can be hard to sort out truth from misinformation, especially when it involves birth injuries.

As a mother, you may ask yourself, “How do I know when something is wrong and what is normal?” As a nurse with over a decade of experience in newborn care, I want to talk about some statements parents are told about newborns that aren’t always accurate. So let’s set aside opinions and discuss what’s true and what’s not.

Statement: “All newborns are sleepy. It can be hard to wake them up to feed.”

While it can be normal for a newborn to be sleepy for the first day of life, it is expected that they come out of this post-birth sleepiness and start letting you know their needs by waking up for feeds on day 2 and beyond.

A late sign of hunger, if you’ve missed these initial cues, is when they begin to cry. It is a huge red flag if the baby is getting sleepier each day and is difficult to wake for feeds.

Excessive sleepiness can be a sign that something is wrong, such as an infection or severe jaundice. When newborns have an infection, they are often difficult to wake and feed poorly.

With severe jaundice, where there is excess bilirubin pigment in the blood, there is a risk of the bilirubin entering the brain and causing neurological damage called kernicterus. If an infant is becoming increasingly difficult to wake, this could be an early warning sign of this condition.

Statement: “Feeding babies can be hard. It’s normal for most newborns to be poor feeders.”

There is an important difference between a newborn learning how to feed well and an infant struggling to feed. After giving birth, parents learn how much goes into feeding their baby, especially when a mother chooses to breastfeed.

Positioning, latch, and promoting an adequate milk supply take a lot of effort! Learning all of this can be hard.

Newborns should naturally go between sleep and wake periods, wake for feeds, stay engaged for a full feeding, and then appear restful and relaxed afterward. If a newborn is difficult to wake for a feed or cannot stay awake, this is a warning sign. A weak suck is another warning sign that something is wrong.

Struggling to feed may be an early indication of high bilirubin levels or an infection like meningitis. With this condition, an infection has reached the area around the brain and spinal cord.

This infection can cause irreversible brain damage and be life-threatening. Parents should monitor their baby’s behavior and alert their doctor urgently if their child shows changes in alertness, such as becoming increasingly difficult to wake and feed.

Statement: “A lot of babies become jaundiced after they are born. I wouldn’t worry about that. They told me my baby was jaundiced, but it was okay.”

Newborns can have some extra bilirubin in their blood after birth. When a baby is born, their liver is still developing. The liver filters bilirubin from the bloodstream, so an underdeveloped liver can have more difficulty with this task.

Many parents may be told that their child was checked for jaundice and had slightly elevated bilirubin levels. When testing bilirubin levels, doctors match the level to how many hours old the baby is. The doctors take into account the baby’s risk of producing too much bilirubin and the risk of their liver not being able to remove the excess to determine if the baby needs treatment.

Often, treatment isn’t needed. Parents may confuse this conversation and think that their baby had jaundice concerns, while in reality their risk was low.

Jaundiced babies with high levels of bilirubin often have yellow-tinted skin and eyes, are excessively sleepy, and are poor feeders. Babies who are exclusively breastfed are at a higher risk for jaundice.

While most babies may not have bilirubin levels that are life-threatening, having any of these symptoms and high bilirubin levels is concerning and should not be ignored. In certain circumstances, jaundice can worsen and lead to kernicterus.

Brain damage caused by kernicterus can result in conditions like cerebral palsy, which is a group of disorders that affect muscle control and movement. Children with this condition can experience seizures and have other learning, speech, and swallowing disabilities.

Statement: “All babies cry. It is normal for them to be fussy. I just think your baby might have colic or something. It will pass.”

It is true that all healthy babies cry to communicate their needs. However, how often and how a baby cries can tell us that something may be wrong.

While a lot of crying is not a direct indicator of a life-threatening condition, it should not be ignored, especially if a baby has excessive high-pitched crying or irritability.

One example of this is hydrocephalus. In this condition, too much fluid builds up in small cavities of the brain called ventricles.

The buildup of cerebrospinal fluid can result from overproduction or a blockage that limits reabsorption. It increases pressure in the brain, which can cause pain.

Statement: “Check and see if she has a fever. If she doesn’t, I’m sure she’s okay.”

Unfortunately, many people believe a baby isn’t sick until they feel warm and have a fever. While a temperature above 100.4°F is a sign of infection, it is not the only sign.

In newborns, signs of infection can differ from what parents might expect. Sometimes the signs are obvious and “in your face,” but other times they can be subtle and easy to miss until symptoms worsen.

If an infection is not caught early and signs are ignored, a baby can become septic. When sepsis happens, the infant is having an excessive inflammatory response throughout their body.

When a child gets sick, the immune system causes inflammation to promote healing. During inflammation, the body brings more “germ-fighting tools” to the site of infection to help it heal faster.

Sepsis is dangerous because the body overreacts to the infection, and the “germ-fighting tools” start attacking healthy tissue. Organ damage, and even death, can occur if this is not treated quickly.

Statement: “It is normal for babies to be floppy. It is because they do not have muscle control yet.”

There is an important distinction between floppy muscle tone and a lack of direct muscle control. While newborns do not have controlled, intentional movements, the brain sends signals for specific movements and active muscle responses.

As a parent picks a baby up, their muscle tone should slightly increase. Floppy muscle tone and decreased reflex responses are warning signs that something is wrong. Rigid or stiff muscle tone is also a warning sign.

Floppy, decreased muscle tone can be a sign of brain damage. One example of this is hypoxic-ischemic encephalopathy (HIE). HIE is a decrease in blood flow and oxygen that causes brain injury.

If a baby has decreased muscle tone in only one arm, they might have a brachial plexus injury. If an infant went through a traumatic birth, like if their shoulder was stuck during delivery, it may have caused the nerves in the brachial plexus (that lie along the neck, shoulder, and arm) to be damaged.

Babies with this type of nerve injury may have good muscle tone in the other arm and their legs, but lack it in one arm.

As a nurse, I look for symmetrical reflexes on both sides of the body after every birth. If only one hand goes to the mouth before feeding, extends outward when startled, or curls with the grasp reflex, these are warning signs of injury.

Statement: “A lot of babies spit up after they eat. He is probably throwing up because you’re feeding too much. I’m sure it’s normal.”

While a baby who is overfed may spit up a little after eating, a parent should be concerned if their baby is vomiting after each feed. Sometimes, severe, frequent vomiting after feeding can be a sign of hydrocephalus.

Some babies can frequently spit up after feeding because they are still developing, and the valves in the esophagus (“food pipe”) that hold food down can relax more often in newborns and allow milk to come back up.

While frequent spit-up can be common, it should still be examined by a doctor to rule out any other concerns or complications.

Get Help if Your Baby’s Warning Signs Were Missed

The last concerning statement parents may hear is, “The hospital wouldn’t have discharged your baby and allowed you to come home if something was wrong.”

Unfortunately, this is not always true. Medical professionals can miss or dismiss symptoms, delaying necessary treatment for a newborn. Doctors should be held accountable if they dismissed concerns about infection because a baby didn’t have a fever, missed a baby’s floppy muscle tone, or ignored frequent vomiting after feeding.

If you had concerns about these symptoms, but they were ignored in the hospital or by a doctor, and your infant was later diagnosed with one of these conditions, you might have legal options.

These actions by health care professionals may be considered medical negligence. As a nurse, cases like these break my heart. No one should have to experience this.

If you believe your child’s diagnosis may have been caused by medical negligence, reach out to our team, who care deeply about helping families like yours get the support they need.

Call us at (800) 914-1562 or get a free case review right now — there’s never any cost or obligation.